Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in deecheese's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
9:50 am	I am extremely tired. Yesterday after work started out great. Frances and I went around to different stores and purchased some items for our hopefully soon to be wedding. We got home and all was great....then someone called late at night. They said "is ms. Dolores Cortez at home?". Because it was late and I wasn't thinking clear....I thought it was a telemarketer. So of course me being me I said "not right now". So anyhow, Frances thought that I was telling someone that I coudln't talk to them right then, because she was there. We argued and she kept asking who it was. We got the caller ID out and looked it was a home number of someone...who I have no clue, but she assumed I knew them. I really didn't. So we argued all night over that. It was horrid. I went to bed around 1:30a.m. and woke up at 6:15a.m. We are okay now....but it was a rough night. I just wish I could get her to believe me. Yes I have mest up in the past...she has messed up in the past....but I just wish we could both get over that and just live our lives happy! I believe we will over come this part of our relationshihp and grow and learn from it. We've been together for over four years....I know we are meant to be together...we just need to get over our hurdle which appears to be bigger then it is. We'll make it okay...we will. All will be good! Current Mood: tired (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
10:35 am	I am so furious right now! My new supervisor who is an idiot told me I am not aloud to go to doctor appointments unless I go when one or less people are out in our department. The thing is....I don't know when people are taking vacation. So I had to cancel my appointment today. It sucks! I really want to just be released, have all the doctor stuff over and done with, all the lawyer stuff over and done with....and just live life again! Oh, and yesterday was my first time driving alone for over a month! Hooray for driving alone! I am so happy for that. Angry and happy at the same time. Weirdness happens I guess. Oh, and myself and Frances are doing great! We are so happy in love right now. Yeah even despite all the chaos!!! Current Mood: refreshed (Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
8:23 am	So this weekend went rather well. It rained a whole lot....but that was okay. Me and Frances got to go out to eat...something we hadn't done in a while. We played around on Sunday morning which is something we hadn't done in a while. I like to tickle her and put my hand on her neck! lol. She hates it. She does the same to me...because I as well hate it. It's fun though. We will hopefully be going out of town soon though. We were thinking of going up to the mountains. I dunno, maybe go visit her cousin up there in Flagg. We haven't seen her in forevers! I miss that kid. We haven't seen her since Christmas. But hopefully soon we'll hang out with her again. It was weird because we went to Sedona about a month ago, just before the accidents occurred and we didn't even go to Flagg...so it was a little sad. I know she has a new g/f that me and Fran are wanting to meet. Should be fun. Well hopefully next weekend will have more interesting things. This weekend was fun for me...but boring to others who are reading this. (most people don't care to hear sappy love stories). lol. But that is what my life is becoming...a sappy love story! I am now just dying and waiting to get married. Hooray for me, right? Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Friday, March 10th, 2006
4:18 pm	So two days ago was my first time driving for a little over a month. It was nice! I still am not alloud to drive alone...doctor said until my results get back in that show that the blockage of the blood flow to the brain is gone. She said because the dizziness can come back at anytime unless they know for sure the blockage is gone. So hoping on that...I realy want to drive alone again! Also my cd player is not working on my car...so the car lot has offered to put in a new one free of charge! Hooray! The only bad thing is my Blessed cd was in there...so I am hoping they can get it out when they put the new one in. And I am also hoping it is not all scratched up! I think I'd cry if it was....I love my Blessedbethyname! OH MY GOODNESS!!! I can't take the countdown for the Blessed show...its on the 25th. I still need to find a way to get money to go! haha. Okay so I think that may not be too hard. Either way I will be there! I can't not go. Its a must for me....so anxious is me to see them!!! Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
12:23 pm	Depression. Yes..it happens. I feel sad right now. I know that after a concussion this is common....plus my neurologist has me cutting back on my zoloft. I feel horrible, sad, overwhelmed...and to boot with all my head problems my supervisor didn't want to let me leave a little early tomorrow to get some more testing done on my head unless I got coverage and everything done before I left. I dunno, I thought it was wrong. Like would if I couldn't get coverage and couldn't get everything done by then....would I had have to missed my apt? Its retarded. I'm upset about that...I feel sad because I haven't gone out to see anyone in so long....my life feels like it is going so down hill right now. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
1:53 pm	I'm completely drugged up right now. I missed two days of work today being my first day back from that. I seen the neurologist yesterday.....turns out that I had a concussion along with low blood pressure. So the doctor told me to take these different pills and they are okay to take together. Well I did as she said and I feel high! I don't like it really....but I feel no pain. I feel light like I can almost float. My face feels hot, but my eyes are droopy. I am typing horrible and having to constant backspace. I feel too out of it right now...but that is okay. Turns out I didn't have an MRI done...but a MRA which pictures my veins and arteries...which is how they found the swelling...but now she seems to think I need an MRI done to see if there is bleeding on my brain. I doubt there is...but better safe then sorry about it later. I feel like I am drunk right now....it's not horrible...but it is jut a little different and weird. Oh...my car is going to be okay again next weekend. Yay for my car...I just hope I am fixed by then to be able to drive her again! I miss my car very much!! It was so much fun driving her to different shows or clubs to hang out with people and wherever else I felt like going. Life is slowly but surely getting back to normal. On another note...I am sad that the Toys R Us store is closing. Two days is all that will be left of it. So so so sad! I will miss all them people there. Hopefully I'll stay in touch with them though. I am hoping! I also miss my friend Ty! He's a total sweetie...and we go to allot of events together. But because he lives in Surprise and I am in S. Phoenix it is hard to meet up when we are too far apart with me not having a car. Soon though...soon soon I will see him again and me and he shall take cool pictures hopefully in a cemetary that I know of! Oh...the good things in life! Current Mood: weird (Comment on this)
Monday, February 13th, 2006
9:44 am	Today is an okay day....my car finally got taken into the shop. That means it is just weeks away from being driven again by myself! I can't wait!!! On a sad note.....I still may be unable to drive my car....it only depends what the neurologist tells me. The results of my MRI came out that I have low oxygen and blood flow to my brain due to inflamation. I can't even have the Chiropractor crack my neck now....because I have a head injury. It sucks not knowing how they plan to fix me...but I just know I don't want another surgery. A tumor being removed I should think would be enough for me....I dunno. I guess I am just scared to hear what they have to say. I will hope for the best but expect the worst and whatever happens I just hope I will be prepared for it! I should be getting an appointment today for my neurologist, and I also have to call my lawyer and let him know what is going on. It just sucks how life could seem to be going good...and just like that something helps to make something wrong.... All we have is to look forward to tomorrow...and that is what I am doing. Tomorrow is another day...and it will get better, when you reach your lowest...all it can do is get better! I am still sick...yes I caught a cold! lol...like having my problems wasn't enough...I went and caught the flue! Oh well...life goes on. Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
1:15 pm	Today I went for an MRI. I had an appointment with a doctor to check me out to see if I needed an MRI or if I would be okay....well he was worried about how intense the pain was and also the dizziness, so he sent me for an MRI. I have no clue whats wrong...but at least it will be found out and I will be okay again! I feel so sickly right now. I am at work right now, because I need to work so I am here. I feel horrible though. Guess I should stop complaining about it on here and just deal.... Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
12:34 pm	Today I have been feeling very sickly. Maybe more so then I had the past week and two days. My head is killing me, it hurts to look at this stupid computer...and I am going to throw up! I feel sick sick sick! I have an appointment to meet with a doctor on my head hurting and feeling dizzy. A non stop head ache is not fun at all.....especially when tylenol and advil don't work! Current Mood: sick (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
11:28 am	So as it turns out I was in car accident number two over the weekend.....which sucks because now my car is dead! ;_; Well I guess I should start from the beginning. Well Friday night worked at Toys R Us....had fun chatting away with co workers and then I gave three of them a ride home(yep the three coolest!)lol. Well had fun talking with them on the ride to their homes....so all and all Friday was pretty okay for me. I did feel pretty dizzy and nausiated...but made it through the day. Saturday was the Chiropractor meeting which I left still dizzy and feeling sick. Then went to see a lawyer because the insurance company was not doing anything about the accident from last week. So after that we head home. We took a nap and then I woke up and left to get us some fast food.....well what do you know my head is dizzy as all hell and I end up crashing my car into this green ford truck....Lucky for me the guy didn't know English or have insurance so he just took off. Although I am not sure if he was or wasn't at fault...due to the fact I was kind of out of it. My head was killing me. So anyhow....I wrecked my car Saturday at 4:50pm! It sucked so much! I cried and cried and cried. Now I feel so useless without a car. I can't go anywhere...I can't see friends...I didn't get to see people who I wanted to this weekend because of it. I feel so useless right now. Well yesterday I worked at Toys R Us....it was fun, but I couldn't even offer anyone a ride home that probably needed one! ;_: Well I was greeted with my nieces in my dads car....which was a good surprise. Me and my neice Heather talked about how our accidents went (as she was in an accident as well). I watched the L word after taking a nap and then woke up this morning to yet another wonderful head ache and stomach ache! Yay for me right? Current Mood: crappy (Comment on this)
Friday, February 3rd, 2006
4:33 pm	So another day in pain....not too fun at all! I wish I felt better so I could go to Filthy Gorgeous tonight after work...but I would probably pass out! OH well....there is always another Friday. I feel pretty dizzy and nauseated! Not fun, not fun at all. Well it's the weekend at least so I have that time to rest! Yay! Current Mood: sick (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
8:20 am	Last night I went to yet another Chiropractor appointment....treatment sucks! I am in so much pain before them..and then a little less after. All together I think having two jobs is making it harder for me to feel better. This job is okay though...we had our new supervisor buy our department pizza! I was actually included on this one. Normally they leave me out of everything because it's too hard to find phone cover since my job is being a receptionist. At Toys R Us...I was dying with my neck hurting. But I love working there...even if it is only for a few weeks more. There is a girl there who is so cute...but so straight. Yep that sucks! lol...not really. I have my g/f so I am not trying to hook up with her...I just notice she is cute! I was also glad to know that the co worker I thought was mad at me Friday wasn't! :) He's a cool guy and I love talking to him so I am glad he wasn't and isn't mad at me. And he has a little boy that is adorable! I think that is all that has gone on lately.... Current Mood: sore (Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
10:03 am	Weekend of madness!!! So Friday ended up being a bit weird. I worked...and I think one of my co workers is upset with me...but I don't know why ;_; Then comes Saturday and I am having a good day with my g/f...and looking forward to shopping and then later talking to my friend Ty. Well things went wrong after we were finished shopping. My g/f stopped at a red light and we started talking about something(which I have no clue to what it was about now) and then this guy doesn't stop and hits us! It was pretty hard, although my g/f's CRV wasn't damaged too badly. The other car was I believe a 70 something or another. Well to sum it up it was a stronger car...well his car was totaled! I don't think he drove it home because the whole front of his car was completely destroyed. Well I had started to have some pain in my neck due to my two previous accidents placing my cervical 2 vertebrae out of place. This one just aggravated it more. So as the day progressed it got worse along with my head ache, and my g/f's back started to hurt pretty bad as well. Well since we both didn't want to drive after what had happened I called my parents to pick us up and take us to urgent care. Well after going to 2 different places they told me to go to the E.R. because they couldn't help me. So we decided to just go home. After we went home we both realized I should probably go to the E.R. just to make sure I didn't damage anything. Well after waiting in the E.R. room all the doctor does when he finally see's me is touches my back and says your fine I will write you a prescription for the pain. I was so pissed off because urgent care said go to the E.R. because they would need to do x-rays and so I ended up having this bill that will be a pointless one due to nothing but a touch on my back and some drugs. I have NOT filled the prescription nor did I leave without telling them how I felt. I wanted to touch his back and say let me play Jesus and tell you from a single touch how perfect you are! I was so so so mad! We then went to see some of her family since they were wondering how we were....and the whole night didn't end until probably close to about 1am. It wasn't at all how I pictured to spend my Saturday night. Well come Sunday and my g/f and her brother wanted to go to my Toys R Us to get some video games at cheap pricing since the store has all on discount right now. Well I had to stay and work...but my g/f got me a mini digital camera which I had been wanting forever now!!! I also got to play with Humba(the yellow Boohbah) at work for a while. I love that Boohbah. Someone left him at a register so I was cleaning up and got to play with him for a couple of seconds! It made me so happy! ^-^ Well the day ended with me going home and playing Sonic and watching the L word. Much better then Saturday! Current Mood: content (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
9:09 am	I got two new Boohbah's yesterday!!!! I am so happy! I love Boohbahs! I even brought my pink one to work with me! I have decided I should take my Boohbah everywhere I go! We are going to be together at work, home, my other work, and every car ride...yes I am taking good care of this Boohbah! Ahh my Boohbah! I started taking my pills daily again...as I should had been doing all along. lol...silly me. I need to call in too to have my prescription refilled. Happy pills make me happy! Current Mood: happy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
8:03 am	The weekend Friday night worked Toys R Us....Saturday morning woke up early to head down to this new park thing that recently openned. It was allot of fun because they had ducks and allot of nature setting. Well because of the nature setting...myself and Frances decided we should go up to South Mountain(since it is so close to our house)...being up there made us want to be in Sedona....so we planned it out and decided to go Sunday. So Sunday we woke up early and headed up there. I got tons of good pictures taken(which I will be posting in my yahoo 360). We stopped at the chappel and a New Age store. At the New Age store I got a card reading.....it mostly said I would figure out my inner self and that everything would work out as it should...and I shouldn't worry so much. So after stopping there we drove through Jerome and then went to Prescott to walk around some those shops there. After we got home from our trip...we looked at some of our pictures from the trip then watched some tv and went to bed. Tonight we are going to finish up with the pictures and get them posted! I can't wait!!! Current Mood: bouncy (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 19th, 2006
3:29 pm	Sorry for two entries in one day. I am so tired...I feel dizzy. I think I may be getting sick, or going through withdrawls again. Life seems so pointless....I feel useless. I think I have hit my ultimate low. I'm hoping my livejournal will help to release some of these feelings instead of keeping them hidden to the point I can't bare them anymore. I always put off that I am happy...although it is very rare I am. There may be three people in my life who have taken the time to get to know me... I'm too nice to people. People know this, and many take advantage of it....I am just so tired of trying to please everyone I meet...keep everyone happy. I hate seeing people upset.....but it is now taking it's toll on me. Sad thing is...the one's who do the most taking advantage is my own family. It seems they really only call me when they need/want something from me. I hung out with a girl on Friday who seemed really sweet. Like we could talk so easy...she knew I had a g/f and I knew she was with someone...We talked about many things. I think that was probably the happiest I had been in so long. It was nice to talk to someone who had no intentions other then to get to know me... Current Mood: crushed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
7:31 am	Yesterday was very interesting. I worked Toys R Us again....when I got there this guy I talk to Pilo(but I like to call him Pillow). Well he comes up to me and is like "I told this girl that I wanted to hook you up with that one girl and she spilled the beans about you being gay....now everyone knows". I was shocked and felt like an idiot. I was a little upset....but I couldn't change what he did. So he was telling me how one of the supervisors yelled at him for it. So for the rest of the night I felt stupid in front of the girl....and the girl who he originally told. I have sworn to pay him back before the store closes down next month. Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
7:52 am	Yesterday was a crazy day...Frances asked me to go home for lunch because "we needed to talk". Lately those mean she wants to tell me I did something wrong. So we start talking. Turns out she is upset that I invite people to things that are supposed to be just me and her....so I will try not to do that anymore. On another note...I ended up doing a bad thing. I was so depressed I did an old habbit. It's just so hard not to sometimes. I get so low...it's hard not to. I think I should stop trying to ease off the pills. Everytime I go more then two days without them I get like this. It's just not fun to have to carry around a bottle of pills and having to pop one many times while people are around. It's so hard sometimes....and when I hit my lows, it feels as if no one is there to pick me up. I hate my scars....it embarasses me. I hate people asking how I got them when one is exposed(which does not happen often). I find I am in my happiest moments when I am at a Blessedbethyname show. There I feel like I haven't a care or a worry in the world...it's all about the music. Well today should be better. I work the two jobs, but because I will be out most of the day....I wont have time to think of my problems. Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
10:29 am	Yesterday I ended up working at Toys R Us. So many people just bugged the hell out of me. Anyhow I was so tired I thought I was going to pass out....and then Frances wants to go over the budget. It was something that needed to be looked at...but I was just so tired and drained. I guess I have just been so tired lately. 8 hours of sleep is something my body has been craving for a while now. Well then this morning here at this job...they ask me to take a random. It took me over an hour of drinking and drinking to get any kind of urine out. Other then that not much else has happened. I'm just tired and sitting here very bored at work. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
3:04 pm	About me... I stumbled on this site today. I think it will be healthy for me to keep a journal. Something where I can write about everything that happens day to day. Today is the one year mark since my horrid accident....I really badly miss my old car. She was beautiful & ran good. Frances took me to work today because I didn't feel right driving knowing what happened a year ago today. It was a bit too scary for me.....so here I am at work typing about my boring day. I don't have allot of work to do so I tend to just stare at my computer until I can make objects out of the different things on my computer...I am weird like that. I am that type of person who loves to look at clouds and be like....wow that looks like a butterfly or something. Well since I am getting bored I will end this entry for today..wouldn't want to bore anyone. But I promise to tell better things as my weekends tend to be fairly interesting. Well have a good day. -Dee Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)